This account requires editing - 8th November 2008

III:  TWO YEARS OF DESPAIR

INTRODUCTION

The last instalment of this Odyssey ended on a black note in November 1980. I had just come off the telephone with Mrs. Norris who was about to retire from Gardners. We had been discussing my final order for a high top corset and a deep boned suspender belt.

In giving this account of my Odyssey, as readers will probably have surmised, I kept a diary to record all my activities as well as my feelings. In the beginning I tried to compose this part of the Odyssey using them as notes without great success. In the end I transcribed them all the notes and by cut and paste create a narrative. I found this better, and I hope readers will indulge me if there is still a little repetition - there was obviously very much more in my diaries. Now having completed this part I would like to think that, through the wonderful medium of the internet, and Ivy Leaf's generosity as a host to contributors such as myself, the current generation will gain and understand what sort of difficulties a person such as myself faced, when my apparel of choice was gradually becoming unavailable in the sizes I wanted, between the late 1960s and the mid - 1980s.

Today as I pen this introduction, I am wearing a G78 casual corset, 12 inches long one of many made for me between eight and fifteen years ago by Mrs. Norris, who I was to come to know as Iris. It is double boned. It has a pair of wide back steels on each side and a 10-inch wedge busk. It is laced just under two-inches open. I'm wearing a pair of Albert's "Waking Sheers" stockings made in the late 1970s, in black with seams and cuban or square cut heels so reminiscent of the late 1940s. Teach is held up by five suspenders, made up with 1⅛-inch wide black elastic and chrome plated metal suspender clips. My back suspenders have buttons with central chromed steel rivets and were made before 1975 and were supplied to me more than twenty-five years ago by Mrs. Norris while still at Gardners. Later I will fit a high top to help keep warm when I go out as it's a cold day. I appreciate wearing them as much as I first did in 1978.

 
A GLIMMER OF HOPE

After sending her the money for my final order, I thought I would phone Mrs. Norris one last time to check that it was received as by now it was early December and she had only a few weeks left at Gardners. As ever, she answered giving Gardner's number 607-2001.

During this conversation with Mrs. Norris, for what I thought would be the last time, I again asked her if she'd changed her mind about retiring but she said she was sorry but she had not although she did volunteer that many of her clients had asked her to do so. So I simply asked her to tell me if she did change your mind I'd like to know. I asked if she knew of anyone else and she said she didn't know anyone who could do it for men.

At that I had the presence of mind to ask her if she could send me five yards of wide black suspender elastic, and 20 yards of corset lacing, and some black ends for wide suspenders with chrome plated clips and the ones with the button rivets. She said she'd see what she could find in the store for the ends which were no longer made. As to how much extra I should send her she said it was in the price I'd paid.

I then asked if she had ever thought to work from her home. At that point, I don't know if it was the fact that I'd been a client for three years or, that the medium of the phone gave me confidence that seemed to ebb when we met face to face, but I told her how much I'd come to like being corseted and felt very discouraged, not by her decision which she was entitled to, but by the fact that fashion had changed and that corsetières were out of demand. At this comment she too was quite expansive and said she knew how I felt. She said she herself would never give up wearing the corsets and stockings, (which were fully fashioned and hard to get), as she had worn them for too long to change now.

I thanked her for all she had done for me and for how much I had learned from her. At that I think she must have detected a sense of despair and disappointment in my voice for in the end she said, that I was not the only one to say those things and that she'd thought about it but she felt she couldn't work from home. She would not have the machines like those at Gardner's to let her do the job properly. She said that others were asking her too and I sensed there were other clients who saw how bleak a future there was out there for not serious corset wearers. Her next remark after all these years still amazes me. As her l closing remark she said words to the effect "Well goodbye, but I'll tell you what. I'll put my address and phone number in the parcel with your order, just in case I might think again".

At this idea I felt almost overjoyed. It had been the first break in the despair I had felt over the previous months. Although it was scant hope, my spirits were uplifted for several days, but as the weeks passed I sank back to what had become my usual despondent self.

 

MY LAST GARDNER'S CORSET ARRIVES

In due course, what would prove to be the last parcel from Gardners arrived. I'd had it mailed to my work to be sure of it being delivered to me. The long brown paper packet - looked almost like a roll of drawings and raised no comment as it was put on my desk by the office mail boy.

I got home and opened out the brown paper wrapping of the parcel carefully and expectantly. It had been carefully wrapped by someone well used to parcelling corsets, which had to be Mrs. Norris herself, for she seemed to do everything at Gardners. I again recalled that I had seen a parcel of similar length on lying on the cutting room table during one of my first visits to 28 Barnsbury Square in 1977.

Once open there was the brand new high top G72, my second. It was long and faced in black satin and inside it was wrapped the boned suspender belt, made to my exact demand was made with the gold spot facing. Whilst the new high top was of no greater length than my first miss-guided purchase in 1977, it extended fully 10 inches above the waist at the back. As ever I was struck by the stiffness and weight compared to what I had first encountered in corsets like the Contessa years before.

When I saw each garment with its own set of four pairs of suspenders all of wide elastic of several lengths, complete with glinting chrome plated clips and length adjusters fell and hung below with every detail as I wanted I experienced mixed emotions.

On the one hand I felt gratitude for being able to get them made to measure with every detail, as I wanted it and not to have to compromise or crudely alter it, as I would have to have done with what was offered in the mass market. On the other hand I felt renewed despair that the very source of the things I wanted was being snatched away by father time. I realised I was far, far better off in fulfilling my desires than if than I had ever been, but if the corseted life was to continue for the rest of my life I had to find a new source.

Without touching the suspenders I could see from the way that, despite having been wrapped up for several days, each of the elastics sprung up to assume the curve it had assumed when first would on the roll from which all had been cut. It confirmed that they had been made with stronger elastic than I had ever had on a corset before.

Also in the parcel was the coil of suspender elastic, a hank of corset lacing, and about 30 ends for wide suspenders. All had chrome plated clips and the much prized traditional button rivets. About half were black; a few were white and the rest pink. I hadn't thought about it but thoughtful as ever she had included the length adjuster clips.

WEARING A HIGH TOP

Part of the being propelled to higher corsets was the fact that as a man I was and of course, still am, not restrained anatomically as are women by the need to accommodate a pair of breasts. Any high corsets for a woman must have either a "flared front", or be an "over-the-bust" style with cups. The flared design does of course, does wonders for the winsome "pushed up look" and the attendant cleavage. It provided so much part of the appeal of wealthy ladies, from the Middle Ages in the Edwardian era, before the advent of the ubiquitous bra. In the 1950s of course, the bra, in its Along line" manifestation, was designed to complement the girdle, but was happily espoused by many tight-lacers of that era, including Mrs. Norris, my corsetière.

You will recall that I would pore over the images of the Copere flared front models - the Margarita and Isabella styles. I would wonder how it must feel to "live" while so fully corseted. I had to experience it. Looking at them I got a strong sense of feeling that these were corsets that a man could easily wear as his anatomy was more suited to their height above the waist. When I tried on the newest new high top, I knew what to expect as I had been wearing its partner off and on for three months at weekends, but hadn't ventured out, except to run errands to a local shop.

I could just about sit in it for up to two hours to watch television. It was very unforgiving, if its wearer chose to sit in a low armchair, so I had resorted to sitting on a dining room chair instead. The chair actually had side arms - a carving chair,.- which allowed me to raise and lower myself or change position.

Having come to experience the reality of what it felt like to be in a real boned corset. I also had achieved my most earnest wish which was to have my suspenders secured to something totally rigid, so that - length adjusters and stocking clips being equal to the task, I could put as much tension in both the elastic of my suspenders and hence enough pull into my stockings with the knowledge that so long as the elastic in the suspenders didn't fray, they would stay taut all day long and I would not be disappointed as I had during the first years of my Odyssey wearing just a suspender belt.

 

RESOLVING MY PARADOX

Those of my readers, who have persevered in reading this far in my Odyssey, will I'm sure ask "If you had such a problem in coming to terms with your urge to wear "forbidden" items, when the things you desired were becoming hard to get why didn't you just give up?”

I can explain it like this. Having taken so many years and so much trouble to find a corsetière who was ready to make for men, to have it snatched away by father time just as I had come close to the ideal I sought was more than I could take.

While I could, within reason, "stockpile" what I wanted in stockings because they were still being made, with corsets I'd had next to no warning to build up a similar stockpile. Had I had a warning I could in theory I could have done it with corsets, but it seemed it was not to be as in truth I lacked the money to do so. While corsets lasted longer than stockings they were costly items each year.

 

THE CONTRADICTION OF REALITY AND IMAGINATION

Ironically just before Mrs. Norris's bombshell was dropped in July 1980, I had run across back issues of "Reflections" magazine published in the USA by Versatile Foundations. In it were two articles on a woman tight lacer. I had never heard of her until that time. It was none other than Ethel Granger, who died in 1982. I purchased the two issues which serialised her life story. I could hardly believe what I read. Here were a married couple and Ethel had been persuaded to wear strong corsets and train her waist since about 1930 and 50 years later was apparently still doing so in 1979.

I wasn't at all impressed Ethel's figure or her waist size, it fact I thought it ugly and excessive. But I marvelled at the images of the corsets she wore. It told me again that "out there" were still people - many no doubt some of them clients of Gardners - for whom corsets were important. The question in my mind was how were they responding to the ravages of time and loss of essential components and material for corsets.

 
THE CONTRADICTIONS OF LIBERATED TIMES

About the same time, Ronald Reagan had been elected president of the USA. The ever irreverent “Guardian”, in its New Year’s 1981 parody of Old Moore, made its forecast of changes in the White House as it swung to the right. Mindful of Nancy Reagan’s pretensions to elegance declared that the new dress code would declare “stockings will be worn and seams to be straight.” In the realms of journalism there were clearly people with interests like mine.

The late 1970s had seen a revival of corsets on the high fashion fringe by Vivienne Westwood. In the pop music business, female singers like Cindi Lauper wore corsets and stockings on stage and such images appeared on covers of vinyl records, which all but died at the same time as corsets in the mainstream. In her show "Girls just wanna have fun" Cindi wore suspenders and stockings and even took the thigh (ring) garter off her leg and tossed it in the crowd. Likewise Debbie Harry of Blondie wore similar attire on her show and record covers in the late 70s. At the other end of the music spectrum punks, who predated Marilyn Manson by a decade, appeared on stage in corsets with suspenders clipped to ripped fishnet tights - what would Tim Currie who wore in similar but perfect attire in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" have thought?

This was years before Madonna and Cher and the latest emulator Gwen Stefani and her troupe of Japanese girls and not much before the film version of "Little Shop of Horrors", in which I was pleased to see seams on the legs the daffy heroine Audrey, played by Ellen Green. Much as I liked to see this, what I held in truly high regard were the minority of women who were not famous, did not have pretensions to glamour, but still willingly subjected themselves to strict corseting and kept their seams straight.

 

TRAINING FOR REGULAR WEAR

In that bleak winter of 1980 I tried to live as if all was normal but in my heart I believed I had bought my last corset from Gardners. As it was, I decided to wear them as much as a could for as long as they didn't wear out or become unwearable on account of bones irreparably popping out at either hem or top edge. Wearing them more regularly had taught me many things of the kind of things that were included in books on corsets such as "Corset Fitting in a Retail Store" and what I have learned from everyone's very own e-corsetière Ivy Leaf's and her correspondent friends.

With the new style I had again adopted the approach of a "gradual regime", which Mrs. Norris and other corsetières I was to know later always counselled, which meant wearing it for two hours, then three, and so on. My test always was to wear it indoors for as long as the period I intended to wear it with no possibility of slackening off for relief of discomfort when out.

I still had the problem of being able to wear the corset for the hours in circumstances where adjustment was precluded, which is what it would mean if I wore it to work. I used the weekends to build up "tightness stamina". It wasn't easy. The first real test was wearing it to the cinema which meant three to four hours without adjustment, including driving the car or going on the bus and train before and after. On occasion I would venture out after dark for a walk wearing the high top laced as tight as I could bear it. Regretfully for several months those walks didn't last long

The amazing thing was when I slackened off the relief was instant and I was left wondering what had motivated me to slacken it off. Sometimes I took everything off and within a few minutes was left wanting to put things on again. In time I leaned to resist the temptation to lace too tightly and slowly built up tolerance. However, when I began lacing in I tended to lose all commonsense and proportion. I always wanted to experience "just a bit tighter" and of course I quickly regretted it.

Eventually I hit on the idea of wearing the long corset to the cinema where I would be able to resist the urge to slacken off against the desire to see the end of the film. I also learned to be less immoderate in how tightly I laced myself.

Since I felt unable to wear the high top to work, I began putting it on as soon as I came home from work. As every book of advice will tell you that it is probably the worst time of day. As Mrs. Norris would say "you have to lace it on before your figure starts to spread". Mine had not only spread it was fairly full stomach and still had to eat supper. I persisted but found that it had to be kept quite widely open, as my evening meal would certainly make itself felt by raising my level of discomfort. I also started watching the television in an upright chair. (“The elegant lady on the right (1948) is unmistakably wearing a corset. The erect posture, the tubular shape of the hips are all giveaways to what probably is the style of foundation garment that she has worn since her teenage years”.

I did however notice that everything felt more comfortable when I went to bed, so I tried going to sleep in the corset, which gave me the most fitful night 's sleep I had experienced to that time. By the middle of the night it was quite loose on my form and I woke up and tightened it only to wake up within the hour feeling hot, uncomfortable and tight. Just turning over in bed wasn't easy and I must have woken up trying to do so. Again I not only succumbed to my instinct and took the corsets off. I now know putting a corset on at night is the worst time as ones stomach is then at its fullest.

 
I slowly tried to get up and fit it on a Saturday morning before going shopping, taking care not to lace too tight. Again after being out an hour I was glad to come home and slacken it off. As the weeks went by it got easier and I then tried doing it in the high-top leatherette, which had shoulder straps. The big advantage of the style, as I had hoped, was that the top didn't make such an obvious spare tire as a shorter corset. It ended higher than the spare tire could be pushed. However to be comfortable it had to be open about four inches. In my ignorant ambition of earlier times, I had asked for it to be cut too small, and as Mrs. Norris often said of clients’ alteration requests, “I can always make a corset smaller, but I can't make them bigger. It’s easier and cheaper to get a bigger one made!” Still, the idea of shoulder straps and a high top had appeal and I vowed to go in that direction as soon as I was able to find a new personal corsetière.

The most rewarding thing was that corsets were far and away the best item of attire to attach suspenders to and the problems I had with suspender belts cutting into my waist and sagging became a thing of the past.

DAILY ROUTINE 1980 STYLE

I made a point of checking the lacings on my Casual G78 that I was now wearing regularly to work. Unlike Simon, I did not work with a woman like Elsie, who would have recognised me as a fellow corset wearer and no one ever knew my secret. However, before finally putting on my collar and tie for work and I made a point of un-knotting and pulling in the lace a little more, which always acted like a pick-me-up when I did. That done I never forgot to open my waistband and lower it to expose my stocking tops so that I could check and adjust my suspender lengths for the day - not too taut and not too slack. For a mere man I have to marvel that I have developed such dexterity for what after all was a peculiarly female chore and one that not one in a thousand women can practise today.

That is, with both hands I would take an individual pair of suspenders, use my middle fingers to open that pair's length adjuster flaps and pull up on the flaps to shorten the elastics. In doing so I had to hope that the stockings were sufficiently snag-free enough not to ladder - not so much to the extra pull but when I bent my knees! I would deal with each pair of suspenders in turn, except for the rivetted buttons which need two hands to slide just one out of its clip. To this day it never ceases to surprise me how much a stocking top knitted of non-stretch yarn will stretch during a day’ wear. Likewise it never ceases to surprise me how much satisfaction I get from shortening some pairs of suspenders in response to that, not to say how rewarding is the total experience of setting out on one's journey fully conscious of the tightness of the corset and the tautly suspendered stockings. Again I remember the words of Alison Adburgham (Link) and through my Odyssey so far my appreciation of them never fades. Each day brings its rewards after close to 40 years.

 

LESSONS LEARNED

Strangely, what one might think would become a "love-hate" relationship with the corset never developed. This was because, in the early years, I had given in to temptation to take it off when it became irksome, only to find within minutes that I "regretted" having done so. However given the time of day when I fitted it, lacing-in was not so easy because my figure, to use one of Mrs. Norris's frequently used words, had "spread". As I write the word spread I recall how when she said it, she always caused her to chuckle in her imitable way, because she clearly knew the price of either delaying the fitting of it in the morning, or trying to tighten up after loosening off.

Until I took matters in hand and acted on the basis of what I had learned, my approach was over-influenced by what I read. Much of which, I now know was, exaggeration and written in a moment of fantasy by male writers who never corseted, but fantasised about doing so. I do hope that those who read what I write will understand that all of what I relate here is true and written in the spirit of giving future generations an idea of the motivations, pleasures, trials and tribulations for a man like myself. I had first tried on women's stockings as a teenager in the 1950s. I'd bought my first suspender belts in 1967, a waspie in 1969 and a flimsy corset in 1971 all before the modern age of tolerance. I remain grateful that social mores have changed but now, in 2007, I am a dinosaur. The items I choose to wear are heavily imprinted on my subconscious and few women, other than photo models wear them. Certainly women in the mainstream do not wear them and most would not know how to fit a corset with its busk and lacings nor how to suspender stockings.

So what were the lessons I had learned? In summary they say; listen to what body of opinion is out there; do not slavishly follow any dictate; do what suits you best and what allows you to fulfil the inexplicable urge that, in my case at least compels me to lace in and suspender up as I do. This is what I learned:

1    I soon found out that fitting it before eating breakfast meant it was better.

2    For work, I was sure to wear a vest or T-shirt under it and after lacing in to pull the hem of the vest to smooth it out under the corset and if possible make sure it is longer than the hem of the corset.

3    I'd roll my stockings to my knees before fitting the corset.

4    For me there was no debate about "under or over".

5    Exertion when tightly corseted is never easy

6    Final lacing in after breakfast when the corset has warmed to the body. I had now worn the G72 High Top style enough at weekends to think I might wear it to work.

7    Under sustained suspender tension, stockings lengthen and suspender straps need periodic shortening though the day - it's normal.

As things stood in 1980-81 I was in danger of losing all that I'd learned - stolen by father time and "progress" and the wheel of fashion.

 

THE QUEST FOR A NEW CORSETIÈRE

I wrote to my first outfitter of and asked her about Mrs. Norris who used to make corsets for her shop. Her reply only confirmed what I new to be true but she added that was now getting corsets made in Ireland I contacted a new outfitter, "Stage Door", where I met its owner Diana Marks. When I saw her face-to-face I realised I had previously met her in the late 1970s when I still patronised my first outfitter. I offered to write her advice leaflets on corsets and left her a sample of my writing but she proved not to be interested. As corsets declined it seemed the interest in cross-dressing increased but corsets were a very marginal part of that "scene" it seemed. I was further discouraged when my letter to Wilbro was returned. The store had closed. I wrote to "Corsetry and Underwear" magazine and the publisher replied that it too had closed not long before.

I even wrote to the USA and got the Finecraft and Caprice catalogues. The former had an attractive catalogue of models posing in real corsets. In the end I bought every set of the corset pin up photos, each set of which was actually a sequence of photos of a model posing in a glamorous way - not dispassionately like in Fanny Copere's catalogue and each of the styles they sold was modelled. The idea of buying at such long range, and with the prospect of customs duty not to mention the high prices they charged, it seemed imprudent, so I abandoned that the idea.

In the end I concluded that for made to measure and even for serious off the shelf corsets, to paraphrase the timeless words "all roads led to the Rome" of corsetry - Gardners" and to Mrs. Norris, who they had all relied upon, be it Wilbro, Fanny Copere, Cutler/Cover girl, Stage Door. Some time later when I showed Mrs. Norris the Finecraft catalogue, she immediately said. "Gardners made corsets for them". As she looked at the photos of the styles in the Finecraft and Copere catalogues she would brighten up and say "that's one of ours" and "that's another"...

 
The irony of such a situation was at times the cause of anguish but it was also the cause of being a strong motivation for me to rack my brains as to what to do for myself. I took to examining the busk and realized that to make one buy hand was all but impossible it required sophisticated machinery and - economies of scale and demand to make them available at a reasonable price. With the attendant punching, rivetting not to mention tempering and burnishing of the spring steel, the bifid busk was and is by far the most complex item ever used in clothing of any kind. I later found out that the minimum order in any size was 1,000. Spiral bones had to be cut from long lengths and I assumed would still be used in long line bras and orthopaedic corsets, but sellers of small quantities were had to find in the UK. Today, things are different.

 

AN ALLIANCE OF NECESSITY

I have to admit having always been fascinated by the pin-up image, which left a strong imprint on me. At first I simply sought out images of models posing in stockings, especially those in black with seams in the "small men’s magazines". Even then I remember being particularly fascinated by poses when they wore a merry widow or Basque as well as being pleased to see the interplay between the suspender of a girdle and its captive stocking top. It was those images that were the impetus for my starting to buy my own stockings. As I graduated to a corset, my search was refined to include photos of models posing in "real" corsets that were evident from the glint of the tell-tale slotted plates of its busk.

As the bounds of permissiveness widened throughout the 1970s, the magazines all flourished as did "Accord", the one I particularly liked because it specialised in included correspondence from real corset wearers of both genders. This really frustrated me because the general wearing of corsets was declining so fast. Occasionally I would see photos of women in corsets and letters from men, or their wives who claimed to wear real corsets, became more common.

There was slowly increasing number of photos of men wearing little more than a "corset" (sic), stockings and high heels and while I was in principle, pleased to see them, they appeared in magazines catering to what, in 2007, is lumped together as, "fetishism". Again I was not one of those people, but if they wore what I liked to see worn, I would look at those details in the photos and try to block out the circumstances in which they were being worn. I am not prudish and regard myself as fairly tolerant but I was not personally happy about it, though eventually rationalized it by paraphrasing the old adage that sometimes the devil does have some good tunes.

That said it is ironic that much of the impetus that has led to the rescue, albeit in very specialised form, in the making of real corsets and fully-fashioned stockings has, tended to come from persons of such persuasion. In times past, men who wanted corsets were lumped with such people and had to seek out and then rely on understanding corsetières, as Simon did with Mary, and I did when I found Iris Norris of Gardners. Today a novitiate corset wearer can piggy back his needs on stores by patronising stores catering for the Goth and Fetish cultures.

As the bounds of acceptability were tested in time photos appeared, initially of men alone and then in the company of similarly attired women, who were helping them to make up and look like women. I have to confess to being fascinated by them. If nothing else, it was a form of proof that, whilst I was alone with my secret, "out there” in the world at large, were others who felt the same compulsions as I did. It was then I started to dream of what life would be like with an understanding woman to share my secret. Many of these thoughts rose when I patronised Gardner's but the bombshell of Mrs. N's retirement was something else.

Most of the new magazines ran contact personal adverts and at first I all but recoiled at the idea of using such a service. I worried about being found out and at worst being blackmailed but, in another part of my mind, desperation was at work on my thoughts. I had to use the medium to contact others with my interest, but which magazine was it to be?

By the 1980s, again in response to the new liberal publishing climate the magazines were in turn replaced by those meeting interests in highly specific subjects. Not surprisingly, whole magazines devoted exclusively to each of the many "isms" emerged. At the time of the loss of Gardners, in early 1981 I identified those magazines nearest to my interests. The one I settled on catered for correspondence on transvestism, and the publisher was one and the same as that of the defunct "Accord".

Necessity was forcing me to come to terms with what I was. I also realise that most would even in 2007 label me as a transvestite or cross dresser. I now know I am not. I have met some and they are not like me. That said, I have to admit that until I met Mrs. Norris, over the first ten years of my Odyssey, there were many times that I felt I might be one. But as permissive times increased I read more and more of the "candid" letters in which men said how much they liked to wear women's underwear in the company of their wives or a girl friend. In time such letters were accompanied by pen and ink drawings of men usually in just a corset with suspenders and stockings. There had to be other men like me and with my needs and tried to live their lives as men.

As to why the magazines were tolerated at a time when there had been a latter day crackdown on all kinds of magazines that had appeared, thanks to Mrs. Mary Whitehouse, I do not know. I could only conclude that while the idea of a man wearing women's clothes was still the subject of ridicule or in the case of pantomime dame amusement, it no longer lead to jail. In fact the letters and photos in these magazines could give little offence compared to what was depicted of Mrs. Whitehouse's bogey woman - Mary Millington.

 
So I decided to buy them as part of my quest to perhaps getting information that might lead to finding a new corsetière. As ever, such magazines were sealed in clear plastic in the shop. They weren’t't cheap, so one was reluctant to buy all the back issues, especially as one was buying a “pig in a poke”, but I was already used to doing so and being disappointed at the content. Contrary to the old adage - "never judge a book by the colour of its cover" one was forced to do just that. I looked at the photos and words on the front and back covers and picked two back issues, which showed black, seamed stockings being worn.

So, I went to my "Corset" file of articles and photos and compared the corsets worn in the 1981 photos with those of 1977. I concluded, given the Berkshire connection and the very complicated designs of corsets worn in both cases, that they had been submitted by one and the same person. It was unclear whether one or several persons had modelled the corsets but it was clear that the corsetier was certainly the same person. I concluded that the Berks. Corsetier had:

1)   Admired the styles when worn by others.

2    Liked complicated fan lacing or under-belted corsets and many pairs of suspenders. Indeed these new studies featured corsets of the most complicated construction - more complex even than Camp or Jenyns that I had ever seen or was doing it for themselves.

3)   Not being able to buy designs equal to those in his imagination he had resorted to making them for himself or for women friends to wear.

4    In his mind's eye he designed his "dream corsets". These incorporated individual elements found in a range of corset styles he had seen in catalogues and he had made his fantasies real.

I also realised that, while the photos were all of men wearing women's underwear or dresses, only about a third of them wore seamed stockings. In the twelve or so issues I read however there were very few letters or photos, which referred to, or depicted real corsets such as I wore. Clearly the readership regarded girdles and seam-free stockings as quite acceptable. I did not.

Of the photos of seamed stockings I could tell by the ladder stop pattern in the after-welts that many were wearing and hence still buying Aristoc "Harmony” as they were the only brand s still available. On that shared detail I did feel I shared a common bond with the wearer I saw in the photo. This also manifested itself as a form of reassurance I was far from being the only man going into stores to buy stockings for himself. There were tens, if not hundreds of us who did the same.

Being hard to please, I had mixed feelings. On the one hand I was relieved that there were others in the world who felt like me about suspenders and stockings, but I was disappointed that so few of the readers liked to wear the real corsets I liked and I still felt uncomfortable reading the magazine since it essentially catered for transvestites. Only my compulsion to wear corsets seamed stockings and suspenders drove me to read it. My preferences differed from theirs. I was satisfied to wear just those items. They needed the total effect.

I liked to see read letters and look at drawings of other men wearing corsets, suspenders and black stockings, so I subscribed to it for a while. That said, much of what was written quickly degenerated to the level of much of what is today posted in "Girdles and More" and I didn't renew my subscription. Added to which I came to realise that very few transvestites shared or even today share my deep interest in busk-fronted, back- lacing corsets and fully fashioned seamed stockings.

SIMON'S EMULATORS?

During the time I subscribed, I read several real accounts and other fanciful stories related to the readers having a real life tolerant and understanding woman friend who would allow them to meet her and she would help them to dress up like a woman.

A series of drawings accompanying the narrative depicted a central "Auntie" character wearing a corselette, French or the Directoire knickers, favoured by Simon, (Link )and stockings helping a man friend to dress up as woman at least as far as the underwear. I had a mixed reaction to this.

On the one hand it struck a chord as in my fantasy like many of the readers I too cherished the idea of being able to appear, in my chosen items of attire, in the company of a woman similarly attired. As I now know from "Simon's Story", he made it reality with his corsetière Mary. As far as I was concerned such a woman could even be fully dressed as long as she accepted seeing me in my corsets, etc. I was hardly to know that within months this would happen to me.

On the other hand, I was repulsed by some readers' accounts or stories of several men, so dressed and in company of such an “Auntie”, because of homosexual overtones. That offended my belief that male wearers of women's underclothes were most commonly heterosexual.

Having experienced the sensation of being laced in by Mrs. Norris at Gardners and knowing what she said, I did at least have proof that "out there somewhere" were individuals like myself. The problem was how to find them. If and when I did do so, I resolved that my goal was to find the company of others persons, ideally women, but men if need be, who would appreciate meeting another man such as myself, when we were both dressed only in our corsets and stockings. It would most expressly not be for sex, it would be platonic and we would discuss those items of attire and enjoy the mutual lacing-in of our corsets and the suspendering of our stockings.

In respect for Mrs. Norris’s memory I have to say that, while I was well aware that she wore the same items of clothes, never in the four years I knew her at Gardners, nor the following 19 years, that she accorded me the privilege of being a client in her home, did it ever once enter my head to think of see her wearing them.

It was a sufficient and continuing source of comfort to me to simply know that, at each and every one of my 50 or so appointments, both she and I were wearing real busked, boned and back-laced corsets as well as tautly suspendered, seamed stockings. I also valued the fact that we both knew that we were both wearing them and that, if she regarded wearing them as something important to her, there was no reason why I, though I was a man, I should not do so too.

EMBOLDENED BY DESPERATION

However, back to 1981 and the quest at hand. With Mrs. Norris out of the picture as far as my future corsets were concerned I knew I had to contact the contributor of the "Berks. Corsetier" article and photos to know if he or she would use his or her skills to make corsets for me.

I had noted in the contact adverts of the magazine that a person from Brighton had placed an advertisement wishing to meet others for "mutual fitting of corsets". So, I threw caution to the winds wrote my own advert and sent my money for it to appear in the next issue. I was quite precise. I asked if the "Berks. Corsetier", to contact me, c/o the magazine box number, and invited any others interested in tight lacing corsets to do the same.

I got just three replies. The first, as I had hoped, was from Berks. Corsetier, who proved to be a man who went on to found his own business as a very innovative corsetier and who became a lifelong acquaintance. The second was an elderly man who liked to wear front lacing Spirella type pink or white corsets and stockings under his male attire. It turned out had worked as a young man as an English teacher in pre-war Japan. He wrote of his lifetime of corset wearing and even of Japanese corsets! The third from Norfolk wrote to say he liked Victorian Fashions. I began serious correspondence with the first two respondents.

Do remember, all this happened 15 or so years before the advent of the Internet which has so revolutionised such things. However, I fear it is too late for the last generation of old style corsetières and the wearers of corsets with "real" suspenders and the correct stockings to pass on their knowledge and experience to the new generation. Fortunately however we all have the chance though the generosity of Ivy Leaf our e-Corsetière.

CORSET ADVICE FALLS ON STONY GROUND

Since the magazine didn't have much about corsets, I wrote to the editor. I explained my idea of writing articles with the aim of "rescuing" the art of making tight lacing corsets, and stimulating an interest in the wearing of them. He accepted my offer and published my articles followed by a Question and Answer column though all was actually written by myself. He even included my theory of how and why fetishism grades into transvestism based on the number of items of apparel worn.

All my contributions were published over a two-year period but my effort generated almost no response. I was forced to conclude that basically the average reader did not have a deep interest in corsetry. There were a few exceptions. In one issue appeared two, quarter page size sketches of a French maid lacing a person of indeterminate sex into very long corsets. It had short notes on the text. I was truly fascinated that someone was actually producing sketches like this and years later discovered they had been prepared by a French couple who were friends of Cora a German woman who had cultivated a very small waist in the 1960s and 70s and had been a client of Hella Knabe a corsetière in Berlin and a Swiss known as "Corset Hans".

My conclusion after two years was that the majority of TVs have so many aspects of attire to consider that they regard corsets and stockings as props - essential props - but of no special interest to them and most important, I lacked the motivation to ever be one of their "fraternity"- only an interested bystander.

By happy coincidence I had just read David Kunzle's book.

 

DAVID KUNZLE'S BOOK

One unexpected benefit of subscribing to Reflections was that I was put on the mailing list and I was notified of and they sent me a flyer about a new book "Fashion and Fetishism" by David Kunzle. I instantly ordered a first edition and have cherished it ever since. It was devoted to the wearing of tight corsets from mid-Victorian items to the present day. In 2004 it was updated as a second edition and has the status of being a seminal work on the subject.

It was amazingly illuminating and well illustrated and named about 20 persons Kunzle had consulted, including the renowned historian Basil Liddell-Hart, who is now known to have been a regular corset wearer, a historian of corsets and aficionado. Likewise I deduced that "Sir W" was almost certainly a conservative MP for close to 50 years representing a Scottish constituency, and who always made certain he wore corsets to make speeches in the House of Commons. Others named by Kunzle had died in the five or seven years that lapsed between the time he interviewed them and the time the book was published. They included Basil Costin, who died in about 1980 and whose vast collection of material on corsets was bought by one of Mrs. Norris's clients. In later years I met the buyer and he lent me many of them to copy. Costin and his wife had lived in North London while another Col Wintle, was a writer of the 1950s and 1960s. Others acknowledged by Kunzle were clients of my corsetière and had been referred by her to him when he met her at Gardners. Eventually met most of them through her good offices

Included in the illustrations was a reproduction of an advertisement from 1908 placed by one Madame Dowding who made Edwardian straight fronted corsets for women and several styles for men. I was truly inspired by the Carlton style, which was so similar to the high tops I had started to wear more regularly, though they lacked the shoulder straps I was starting to value as an essential element of the high top style. In fact for a number of years I knew what I ultimately wanted. I was held back by the fact that I was not ready, or able, to tolerate wearing one on a long-term basis so that they remained not a fantasy or dream, but the possibility, for which I was still not ready. As a man I did not have the essential spur of the waistband of a skirt or dress that was so tailored as to dictate the waist size to which the wearer's corset had to be reduced by lacing of the corset in order for it to close.

1980-2: A TIME FOR REFLECTION – THE IMPERATIVES

I took the opportunity to take stock of what is was that I wanted out of the corseted and stockinged life if it was to continue. Close to a year had passed without my having a corsetière and despite the multitude of thoughts that entered my head as a result of the ideas and subjects raised by the new liberalism it was time to take stock. I had to think what I really wanted. It had taken a decade and more of trial and error. A mail order, or off-the-peg corset is no substitute. One feature was paramount - the colour of all the items I wore had to be black. It was de rigueur. On that detail I could not compromise, my psyche was imprinted with black as the colour, be it for corsets, stockings or suspenders. indeed I felt very uncomfortable wearing any other colour including pink and white and which paradoxically I perceived to be too feminine. Quite what a psychologist would say of my choice I can only but speculate, but I think it was related to the fact that to like pink one needed many more transvestite tendencies than I had, and I recognised that Mrs. Norris as a corsetière, knew and understood this. It was ironic that it was her wise counsel and services that I was losing.

During the lean year or so, I had the time and peace to reflect on how I had progressed. I realise I might have gone into a depression but in truth I wanted to plan the future as best I could but to do so implied that I "knew what I wanted". I will summarise my thoughts for each item below. While no individual item is unusual, what I was losing was a corsetière, who could bring all my very specific requirements – identified as they were by a decade of by trial and error - all together in one corset. I am sure any reader who has had the benefit of the services of a corsetière with an encyclopaedic memory like Mrs. Norris, who seemed to remember each of her customers preferences, will understand. I also hope that those who might think I have gone in for too much detail will indulge me as I hope the information will provide present and future generation of corset wearers some insight as to what motivated me when seeking my “ideal corset”. What is more, wearing corsets which had the exact details I wanted made me more self-confident and wearing the G78 casual style to work was becoming second nature

 
IMPERATIVES - CORSETS

My corsets had to be made to measure and this was the very cause of my taking stock. It looked as if I would be left high and dry. I had spent too long trying to shoehorn myself into off the shelf corsets and suspender belts. In made to measure I was still learning. There were the things I liked and things did not need.

On the corset, I was now familiar with their construction and this was what I liked.

Busk                First and foremost I needed my busk to suit the length of corset and a matching under-busk. I would accept a wedge busk. By now I had hooked up busks of several lengths and kinds. First there’d been the 4-point, 8-inch busks in the first red corset I ever had, as well as in the under-belted pink one. In the four point 10-inch length I had worn both wedge and standard designs in my G78s. There’d been an 11-inch for pointer in the white Wilbro corset and all four of my high tops had 14 inch busks with five points. I was not to know that within two years in my quest for the highest of high top, high back corset designs that Mrs. Norris would introduce me to the piece de la resistance of all busks, the 16 inch, 7 point design, for which the rules of hooking relating to the “key stud” and to the order of hooking and Mrs. Norris’ helpful demonstration were of no use.

Bones              After trying flat steels I knew that ¼ or ⅜-inch width spirals were for me. After two years with single boning I tried double bones and for my last three years at Gardners all my corsets were boned with double spirals. The only worry was their availability in lengths above 14 inches.

Back Steels     I liked a pair of back steels by my lacing eyelets. Having had an eyelet or two fail and struggled with a hand eyeletter to replace it I remembered Mrs. Norris advice when I tired to 'salvage' the ripped out rings on my first leatherette and had brass not chromed steel reinforcing rings on every new one she made. Again finding lengths above 14 inches was not easy.

Panels             I noted that Gardner’s patterns were based on either five or six panels in each half of their corsets, compared to four I had noted were used on all the off-the-peg ones I had in my drawer. I would take what the corsetière judge the most appropriate pattern for the length. As a man I’d never need a fluted hip style of which Mrs. Norris was such an acknowledged expert in creating. All panels had to be “lined and interlined”, terms I had noted in Copere's catalogue descriptions in 1977 and must have been given to Copere’s owner by Mr Gardner of Mrs. Norris. Pick up such a corset and it feels sumptuous in comparison to an unlined model or even a lined one that lacks interlining.

Cut                        In any corset the most important item is its pattern or cut of the corset and as I related in Part 2 of this Odyssey, after trial and error Mrs. Norris it was well worked out for the 12-inch G78 casual but I could not lace it as tight as I'd like to go to work because try as I did to avoid it a spare tyre always formed at the top - hence the high top. Even the high top created too firm a ridge in my shirt at the top and I had to think - if there was a future in wearing one, ideally with a high back - to work and it would certainly mean shoulder straps.

At home at weekends I would indulge in what might best be described as "excursions in tight-lacing. Typically it would begin when I would take advantage of my privacy and close down the G78 casual corset I habitually wore and laced it the limit and I would then shorten all the suspenders to the limit. Within a short while I felt the need to experience the sensation over a greater length of my torso and would change into one of my high tops and repeat the procedure. On occasion I even tried the leatherette one with the shoulder strap and subject to the fact that the leatherette facing would rip a little more each time I wore it, I found I could even close it down.

 
When laced so tight I found that my focus on the world narrowed as if one had taken a drug, but in time it became irksome and ultimately I had to admit defeat and loosen off the lacings and get back into a G78, which almost felt loose. Yet these excursions sowed the seed for my future corseting plans, which meant being contained - arm pit to lower hip - as I dreamed of since seeing the photos of the model wearing Copere's "Isabella".

From the outset with Gardners I realised that after taking a client's measurements, the true skill of the corsetière lay in deciding, based on her assessment of the customer’s experience, the cut and sewing up the panels that would suit him or her. I found that, as Copere related in their instructions, producing a corset cut to leave the back lacings two inches open, when correctly fitted was wise. The wisdom of this lay in their understanding of anatomy, which, in all but the most obese, results in a depression in the thorax at the line of the spine. In so doing, the laces and eyelets are not in contact with the skin at all, so obviating the need for the “lace protector”, which is so often advocated today. That said, I also noted that, if I laced down beyond this point, the corset edges would "push" subcutaneous fat "ahead of them so that it bulged into the corset lacing. Lace the corset closed and all gets compressed behind the steels on each side of the eyelets and the lacing would keep the skin clear of the metal of the eyelets, which in any case was smooth because the crimping - sources as it is of abrasion and wear of any corset lacing - is done on the outside

As for measuring, I noted that Mrs. Norris only took measurements to the inch. As I found out later, she pointed out there are always times when you want to close it a little more and its best if you keep a little "in reserve" should you wish to do so. Apart from the fact that the wearer may lose a little weight on the basis of the revised regimen of tightness, because that helps reduce the intake of food at any meal to an amount compatible with limiting discomfort. That said, some years into the future of my being her client, Mrs. Norris was to introduce me to several women with very small waists. Several had surprisingly large appetites but in each case that may because they had really known no other life that to be corseted day and night for 30 and even 40 years.

I investigated why my high top corsets got rid of my spare tire at the top but that a ridge still showed. I concluded that the top edge was extending to a point on the torso where the body started to “curve away from the corset towards the shoulder. All that was needed was to fit a pair of shoulder straps , which would gently pull it sufficiently flat against the body. If the high top was stopped too low, one got the spare tire

It was this detail that Mrs. Norris helped me with very much. All that said corsetières are individuals and at times have to improvise. I never knew whether I would get one wide back steel or a pair of equivalent narrow ones in my new corsets. Likewise, depending on the busk lengths available Mrs. N would be forced to provide one or more corset-grade hooks and eyes above or below the busk. I valued the fact that she had thought about it and about what I might like and she would always take the time when showing me the details of a new corset. She never suggested that I might change what I wanted. She had so many years of experience and knew what the range of preferences her clients’ had, to be reasonably sure she was doing the right thing.

IMPERATIVES - STOCKINGS

Stockings had been my first interest and as readers of previous parts I've written will know were what had in fact had set me on my Odyssey. The stockings I wore had to be seamed, fully fashioned - and black.

If the portents for corsets were bad, the portents for the stockings I liked to wear were not good. Both in the USA and UK the styles of fully-fashioned stockings were getting fewer and fewer. Aristoc still produced "Harmony" and I used all my spare cash apart from that needed for corsets to build up a large stock of them fearing that any moment as at happened to Charnos "Commonsense" and Aristoc "Oxfords in the late 1960s would be discontinued before I knew. Unlike women my potential for gaining the ear of a friendly store owner or sales clerk was effectively denied me for I am sure such people advised customers before their preferred brand or style was discontinued giving them the chance to build up a reserve.